Qualifying Results

Newspapers once banned red-ink due to the toxicity of cinnabar residue. It would soak into kicthen tables, corrupting the wholesome family meal as they breathed in the fumes. Fortunately, the digital era starts a new wave, with Ziggy Moonglow's #02 Coca-Cola Chevrolet dominating the headlines after a $10,000,000 night! Nicknamed the newfound "Crimson King", Ziggy ends the theory that red racecars can't find victory lane. Tony Pizzaro painted the back of his car green to disuade the voodoo. Cristian Torres and Kevin Corbat never won a race, prompting their sponsors to change the color of their company emblems. They were both denied that request. Zach Michael just pretends his car is not red, successfully defeating the gremlins with seven victories in the #20 Coca-Cola Mustang.

The riches of Extravaganza's new superstars have enhanced their spirit! "My new vacuum cleaner is diesel!" said Molemar Diggs, referring to the square footage of his Sudbury, Massachusetts mansion across from Willis Pond (where Babe Ruth dropped his piano). "I can finally afford a slim jim cannister!" said Chauncey Redmond Jr., forgetting that his father made more money than the Pope. "They no longer sell it, so I bought some jiffy pop instead." Ziggy Moonglow sold his Japanese Baseball board game to start Delta Sim Racing in 2023, hoping to buy it back after his Coca-Cola 600 victory. "It was my only hobby. I tried Chinese Checkers, but even our oriental gas man couldn't figure it out."

Still basking in his glory, William Perry bought a new hammock after his unprecedented Pizza Hut 400 victory! The "Flex Fuel" veteran currently stands 15th in points, just 68 back from Craig Lee who remains hindered from carbon monoxide poisoning. "Craig and I go way back. We used to visit the Woodbury catacombs at Williams Hill." said Perry "The crypt was darker than Scott Jackson's paint job, though he managed to find a rusted fishing pole. He still uses it today, calling it "Creeper"." Hopefully Perry and Lee can "creep" to the front at Nashville.

Friday, June 6th, 4:00 ET